Shaadi Chronicles - 2

On the Gtalk window at 11 am when both of us are usually busy cribbing about long meetings

R : Love You

Me:???

R : Sorry Wrong Window

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I land on a Friday night on the much awaited weekly flyback to meet R after a week

Me: Hi Sweetie, Missed you and am so glad to be back!

R: You know Ismail got eliminated,Thank God Tanaaz and Bakhtiyaar are saved !!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After shopping for loads of low calorie stuff

R : You know right both of us are like super fat now

Me: Yeah.. I am going back to my low carb diet, no sweets , no fried stuff and am doing the Jillian Michael 30 day fat shred

10 min later

R : Can I taste the Belgian chocolate flavour ?

Me : I think I'll have the blueberry cheesecake flavor

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outcast(e)

Navratri has a special place in my heart . Being the women lib types, nine days dedicated to the female form has to be one of my favourites . Married into an Assamese family this festival now has greater importance and this Navratri was spent with the in-laws.I thoroughly enjoyed the pampering,was thrilled at the gifts waiting for me and loved getting decked up to attend the durga pujo mandals!

Coming back to the title of the blog; On the 9th day Tamilians celebrate Saraswati Puja. This day has people getting all their academic books out ,praying to the goddess to give them 'buddhi' and calling the neighbours home for 'vetla pak'.

So FIL and MIL were called by a Tamilian family in the building for vetla pak . They innocently informed the neighbour that they too had a Tamil speaking member in the family , Neighbour gets excited and forces Husband and me out of our evening beauty sleep to come home and take vetla pak.

As I enter their house, the neighbour-wife pounces on me and starts a continuous chatter in Tamil. I try escaping with the excuse of washing my hands.She follows me quickly to the wash basin and asks me in hushed whispers:

Neighbor Wife(inquisitive look): " Iyer or Iyengar?

Me ( wondering how that matters) : " Ehh .. Iyer"

Neighbor Wife ( concerned look) : How do you manage with the food? Who cooks at home? Must be difficult na with non veg and all? Whenever you are here visit our place, you can have the food you really like.

Me ( Smile Feebly) : Thanks

I shouldn't have just smiled . I wanted to tell her that I love the food at the in-laws place. First, cos MIL is a great cook and she makes everything with great love . Second I really like Bong/Assamese food specially the non vegetarian fare. I do not miss the Tam food cos I never liked it much.

And most importantly however innocent her question might have been, how does it matter if I an Iyer or Iyengar and is that the question you want to ask someone who has come to your home for the first time! What if I wasn't from either of the sub castes? I sometimes marvel at the fact that 60 years post independence such definitions that have lead to continuous division of our society, still matter.

Shaadi Chronicles

R and me walking on the most crowded street of the city

Me to R : I think I need a diamond ring from you

R: Fair Enuf.. But you have to do something for me in return ..(with a glint in his eye)

Me( suspicious) : Ok

R:Go dancing till the mall ( which was 200 metres away)

Me taken back a lil .. regain my composure...take a deep breath and tell myself ,"Afterall I am doing this for my best friend"

I dance away till the mall .. recreating the thunder thigh actress dancing era for the onlookers...

.. Look back victoriously at R

R: No grace... you call this dance!!!No ring for bad dancers!

Moral of the Story :

1) Listen to your Mom when she forces you into learning classical dance

2) Do not marry a cheat

The Bias!

My batch mate ( both of us are from one of the better B Schools in India) said, " I will never date a girl from the IIMs even if I get the chance cos she will always be better off than me"
The statement got me thinking. Would a girl from my batch say that about a guy from the IIMs.. I doubt if she would.But would the same girl hesitate to date a guy from a lesser acclaimed academic institution.. I think she would.

Why do such biases still exist. Has the society entrenched them in our mind so deeply that inspite of education,awareness and global exposure we get trapped in them..!
Even today the prize catch for a smart, educated and independent girl is a guy from the IIM/IITs who earns more than her. The qualities of supposed intelligence and current/future prosperity override the lesser important qualities of care,understanding and even compatibility at times!

The criteria that the guy has defined for the girl also hasn't changed that much ... working being an addition to fair,slim,beautiful and homely .. to help him have a better life style!I have never seen a guy aspire for a girl who is better of than him academically or economically .

To end with a classic case...

A plump girl with an IIT/IIM background earning a 7 digit salary would still bear the brunt of rejection on account of her weight by most of the guys..
And a plump boy with the same credentials will also be rejected albeit by a handful of girls...
He will most definitely be lapped up by zillions of others!

Jealousy!

I am jealous of women with a face and body to die for without much of effort...
I am jealous of people who own swanky houses by the virtue of rich parentage...
I am jealous of people for whom writing comes naturally and words just flow...
I am jealous of people who can set any dance floor burning without any training...
I am jealous of people who can create music that can make zillions swoon to their tunes...

Finally I am the most jealous of people who are not jealous of anyone !

For people who understand who Marathi..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnFBQCDS2Y

Happiness and R

April 23rd…. The day I had been planning out for six months right from the insignificant clutch to the ultra expensive (strictly by my standards) saris … yes it was my wedding day!!
I had looked at a 100 beauticians before resigning myself rather grudgingly to a mediocre one…was unsure about the venue itself due its unattractive location… had high doubts regarding the decorator… and was paranoid about the living arrangements for R’s family... And to top it all the power supply decided to play truant midway through my makeup session…In short I knew we were heading towards a disaster
As I walked into the wedding hall in all my fineries and mind full of wedding logistics issues, I saw R standing there smiling… and suddenly all the planning for six months seemed irrelevant …
I don’t remember how the mandap looked or the food tasted… I didn’t care how fat I looked in the sari or how white I looked in the makeup… All I remember is it was one of the happiest days of my life and all that I planned for didn’t contribute one bit to it!!!

Poetry

After ages comes an album with real poetry ... Do listen to Gulal's sound track
A few of my favourites

man kare so pran de jo man kare so pran le
wahi to ek sarva shaktiman hai

vishwa ki pukar hai ye
bhaagwat ka saar hai
ki yuddh hi to veer ka praman hai

kauravon ki bheed ho ya
pandavon ka need ho
jo lad saka hai wahi to mahaan hai

Another one

alim yeh kehta wahan ishwar hai,
Faazil yeh kehta wahan allah hai,
Kabur yeh kehta wahan issa hai,
Manzil yeh kehti tab insaan se ki,
Tumhari hai tum hi sambhalo yeh duniya,
Yeh ujde hue chand baasi charago,
Tumhare yeh kale iraado ki duniya,

Dreams turining into Reality...

DG,TG and me have morning discussions on how to avoid going to work with possible situations...
Marksheets collection,Caution Money collection- Category - Post MBA Rigmarole- Can be used once in 2 months
Stomach Ache, Dysentery,Fever - Category-Illness - Can be used often
Deposit Submission/ Collection, House Hunting -Can be used once in a year
Roommate locking you in the room - Category -Unimaginable- One can only dream of it and can never be used

But didn't I tell you KG is an angel in disguise .. ( What with her skills in magic and saree price estimation)

Yes our dream did come true!!!! :):) ...

Sorry about Saree!

Scene 1
DG,TG ( name courtesy WSW) and yours truly go shopping... DG buys a very heeeppp saree for rs 2400 onnnnly! What a steal we think!

Scene 2
DG proudly shows off the saree to KG... KG gives a quick look as though making a mental note of the zari used and work done... 'Not a rupee more than 1200' she announces with confidence that would make Obama jittery ! DG is crestfallen .. as a parting gift KG says' You always like such dull colours na'...

Scene 3
Yours truly returns after the most important shopping trip of her life... She went to a store that sounds suspiciously like a 'fake female' ... best for sarees from the part of the country that her ancestors hail...
Returns home with ' the saree' ... She tells TG the price who suffers from a minor heart attack... gulps some water and recovers... TGs chest still pains... so she takes the saree to KG ... KG this time a lil unsure but still with confidence equivalent to Mrs Obama says ' Some where about Rs 2500!' TG lets out a wild scream... her chest pain has disappeared in a jiffy... Yours truly has collapsed by then...
TG goes to KG and manages to whisper ' Jus multiply that figure you quoted by 10'
and as I lay on the floor choking KG in her true style gives me a parting gift ' You guys wear such boring stuff for your marriage..'

Scene 4
DG is now elated ,for she is the lesser affected victim...

Scene 5
3 Girls taking a solemn oath:We will never show our Sareeees to KG!!!!

What I am doing in 2009?

What I am reading( rather have read)...
Interpretation of a Murder- Jed Rubenfeld : Sigmund Freud is one of the characters and revolves around the Oedipus Complex... has a promising start and a very convoluted end...worth a read for an introduction to Freud's theories

Collected Short Stories-Kalki : The translation from Tamil does not sound quite right and the twist at the end of every story is cliched. Yet the book works and how! It takes you back to the freedom struggle,woman emancipation and abolition of untouchability and shows the reader what it takes to be a true leader and a revolutionary! An ideal gift for Muthalik and Co.

Tales of Beedle the Bard - J.K.Rowling : Pls Pls rush to the nearest store and get the Jataka Tales instead... The notes by Dumbledore are quite nice though...

The Japanese Wife - Kunal Basu : After reading this I almost gave up on Indian Authors until.... I read...
Haroun and the Sea of Stories - Salman Rushdie : Alice in Wonderland meets Arabian Nights meets the Indian Subcontinent... Rushdie's first children's book takes you the fascinating world of stories and draws parallels to the political games of the subcontinent... How I wish there was really a Sea of stories ... would love to swim in that ocean forever :)!
Liar's Poker and Snowball is what I am going to pick up next...

What I am watching..
MTV Roadies whatever season or version... It is bitchier, it is uglier and it is in Australia(some saving grace)...Roadies reached a new low yesterday with the girls kicking each other and hurling abuses that would put the Amboli taporis to shame!

Balika Vadhu ... One more saas bahu saga set in Rajasthan I thought... Instead of a black girl a young girl... but this soap has really surprised me ... understated yet powerful performances,a strong storyline with stronger messages and no exaggerated closeups and background music.. Balika Vadhu is here to stay!

Filmfare Awards... Drooled at Katrina Kaif's blazing orange gown and went awwww with A.R.Rahman's ever so unassuming demeanor in the awards...The 'Big'gies and the 'King's should take a quick lesson in true humility from him..

What I am eating...
The same boring unpalatable low carb food... chicken breasts, steamed fish and veggies,protein shakes... Yesterday was an exception though.. went out to treat myself at Banana Leaf to a fare of appam and stew ... and I guess Hell Hath no fury like a Dieting Stomach scorned.. threw up everything in the night!

What I am wearing...
Clothes of smaller sizes... marginally small... still light years away from the elusive small size ... but what the hell!

What I am listening to
Delhi 6- A R Rahman... what else and who else!!

What I am working on....
..............................................................

Jaipur se nikali gaadi....

An inbox full of wedding invites has forced a non traveller and ' i hate dressing up' person like me put on my fineries( if you could call them that!) and travel to distant places ( We Mumbaites believe anything beyond a 10 km radius of Mumbai is far off!!) ...
One of these distant places this week turned out to be the Pink City of Jaipur for dearest H's much awaited shaadi..
My first visit to Jaipur was also for a wedding but I couldn't get time to absorb the city as most of the time was spent in a Dev D type alcohol and smoke haze that precedes every Bakar Gang marriage... (H and me belong to a gang called The Bakars )
The city itself had a very Delhish feel to it... with cycle rickshaws , decent roads , women with lipstick on even in the sabzi market and a nice chill in the air.... what made it different was.. the surprisingly un lecherous men who went about their daily chores without a glance at the pretty women walking on the streets.. the women themselves though decked up had a very innocent and endearing air about them... the streets filled with what I think were Banjarans in absolutely exquisite jewelery talking in a tongue I had just heard in movies...
The bazaars are a girl's dream come true and it was love at first sight with over a zillion items that adorned the shops in the tiny lanes... The Lakhi Jhumkas,the multicoloured gemstones, the kurtis at throwaway prices, the delicate handwoven bed covers, the trinkets oozing of an explosive combination of colours and shapes and finally the grand,bright and absolutely royal ghagras were a delight for the eye and the mind... This was my neverland :):)!!

Now coming to the wedding itself. It was a Marwari wedding in all its splendor and grandiose.. Ladies draped in a riot of colors...rustic and foot tapping Rajasthani music wafting through the air and the graceful dance by the women that can make even someone like me ( 10 left feet) want to move my hips and feet like there is no care in the world... The hospitality was royal to say the least. We were fed like we had just broken a fast and yes we responded with the same fervour!

The wedding ended at 4 in the night/morning ( and I thought only Tams got married at weird hours of the day!) and a certain non groom H provided the wedding a brilliant snory musical score pitching it right for all the important rituals!

The next visit I hope would give me chance to explore the other side of Jaipur... its heritage and architecture!!

My Moment

I crib about working on a 800 slider ppt... I crib about about my eyes watering and fingers twitching by the sheer amount of Ctrl C and Ctrl V done in a span of one hour...I crib about doing such ordinary work that even your average joe would feel like a star...

A young engineer walks by the cabin... stops for a second ... comes into my cabin and tells me " Your analysis on blah blah really helped us negotiate better and I must say your excel skills are amazing could you teach me a few tricks...And could you tell me where you did your MBA from... how did you get into consulting...".

The cribbing melts away and gives room to a zillion watt smile.... My own lil ' oh my god she's a hot shot consultant ' moment! I can now be laid off in peace!

21st Century?

2 MBA Grads fretting over a lost piece of clothing... suspect the house help of stealing it and replacing it with a neatly darned one ... probably cos she wanted a new one... ( replacing funda difficult to digest but imaginable).. so 2 things ... the lost clothing and the neatly darned replica of the same that has made a mysterious appearance into the house... DG ( the MBA grad whose clothing has been robbed) tries the replica and fits her perfectly!!


Discussion gets serious... KG whispers " I think she wants to do some kind of black magic... she robbed your clothing to cast a spell on you ... you should never be rude to such ppl! My Mom always tells me pls pls keep your clothes safely at home ( not cash, not your cards , not your laptop but your clothes)"


I overhear this ...think DG must be on the floor in peals of laughter... DG gasps " Really !! Im so scared... what should be done now... " Discussion moves onto possible remedies and when I go and chide them for being so regressive and unscientific... DG gives a gem " Science is based on hypothesis so its as vague as black magic " ( wotever happ to observations, corroboration and inferences)...


The night ended with weird discussions on astrology, blowing on hair before throwing it away,stepping on a lime and DG rushing to the bathroom for a bath to cleanse herself of the microorganims for that the NDR (Neatly Darned Replica duh!) might be carrying from the househelp's shanty(huuurrrraaaaaay the slim ray of scientific and rational thinking !!)