Outcast(e)

Navratri has a special place in my heart . Being the women lib types, nine days dedicated to the female form has to be one of my favourites . Married into an Assamese family this festival now has greater importance and this Navratri was spent with the in-laws.I thoroughly enjoyed the pampering,was thrilled at the gifts waiting for me and loved getting decked up to attend the durga pujo mandals!

Coming back to the title of the blog; On the 9th day Tamilians celebrate Saraswati Puja. This day has people getting all their academic books out ,praying to the goddess to give them 'buddhi' and calling the neighbours home for 'vetla pak'.

So FIL and MIL were called by a Tamilian family in the building for vetla pak . They innocently informed the neighbour that they too had a Tamil speaking member in the family , Neighbour gets excited and forces Husband and me out of our evening beauty sleep to come home and take vetla pak.

As I enter their house, the neighbour-wife pounces on me and starts a continuous chatter in Tamil. I try escaping with the excuse of washing my hands.She follows me quickly to the wash basin and asks me in hushed whispers:

Neighbor Wife(inquisitive look): " Iyer or Iyengar?

Me ( wondering how that matters) : " Ehh .. Iyer"

Neighbor Wife ( concerned look) : How do you manage with the food? Who cooks at home? Must be difficult na with non veg and all? Whenever you are here visit our place, you can have the food you really like.

Me ( Smile Feebly) : Thanks

I shouldn't have just smiled . I wanted to tell her that I love the food at the in-laws place. First, cos MIL is a great cook and she makes everything with great love . Second I really like Bong/Assamese food specially the non vegetarian fare. I do not miss the Tam food cos I never liked it much.

And most importantly however innocent her question might have been, how does it matter if I an Iyer or Iyengar and is that the question you want to ask someone who has come to your home for the first time! What if I wasn't from either of the sub castes? I sometimes marvel at the fact that 60 years post independence such definitions that have lead to continuous division of our society, still matter.

Shaadi Chronicles

R and me walking on the most crowded street of the city

Me to R : I think I need a diamond ring from you

R: Fair Enuf.. But you have to do something for me in return ..(with a glint in his eye)

Me( suspicious) : Ok

R:Go dancing till the mall ( which was 200 metres away)

Me taken back a lil .. regain my composure...take a deep breath and tell myself ,"Afterall I am doing this for my best friend"

I dance away till the mall .. recreating the thunder thigh actress dancing era for the onlookers...

.. Look back victoriously at R

R: No grace... you call this dance!!!No ring for bad dancers!

Moral of the Story :

1) Listen to your Mom when she forces you into learning classical dance

2) Do not marry a cheat

The Bias!

My batch mate ( both of us are from one of the better B Schools in India) said, " I will never date a girl from the IIMs even if I get the chance cos she will always be better off than me"
The statement got me thinking. Would a girl from my batch say that about a guy from the IIMs.. I doubt if she would.But would the same girl hesitate to date a guy from a lesser acclaimed academic institution.. I think she would.

Why do such biases still exist. Has the society entrenched them in our mind so deeply that inspite of education,awareness and global exposure we get trapped in them..!
Even today the prize catch for a smart, educated and independent girl is a guy from the IIM/IITs who earns more than her. The qualities of supposed intelligence and current/future prosperity override the lesser important qualities of care,understanding and even compatibility at times!

The criteria that the guy has defined for the girl also hasn't changed that much ... working being an addition to fair,slim,beautiful and homely .. to help him have a better life style!I have never seen a guy aspire for a girl who is better of than him academically or economically .

To end with a classic case...

A plump girl with an IIT/IIM background earning a 7 digit salary would still bear the brunt of rejection on account of her weight by most of the guys..
And a plump boy with the same credentials will also be rejected albeit by a handful of girls...
He will most definitely be lapped up by zillions of others!

Jealousy!

I am jealous of women with a face and body to die for without much of effort...
I am jealous of people who own swanky houses by the virtue of rich parentage...
I am jealous of people for whom writing comes naturally and words just flow...
I am jealous of people who can set any dance floor burning without any training...
I am jealous of people who can create music that can make zillions swoon to their tunes...

Finally I am the most jealous of people who are not jealous of anyone !

For people who understand who Marathi..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgnFBQCDS2Y

Happiness and R

April 23rd…. The day I had been planning out for six months right from the insignificant clutch to the ultra expensive (strictly by my standards) saris … yes it was my wedding day!!
I had looked at a 100 beauticians before resigning myself rather grudgingly to a mediocre one…was unsure about the venue itself due its unattractive location… had high doubts regarding the decorator… and was paranoid about the living arrangements for R’s family... And to top it all the power supply decided to play truant midway through my makeup session…In short I knew we were heading towards a disaster
As I walked into the wedding hall in all my fineries and mind full of wedding logistics issues, I saw R standing there smiling… and suddenly all the planning for six months seemed irrelevant …
I don’t remember how the mandap looked or the food tasted… I didn’t care how fat I looked in the sari or how white I looked in the makeup… All I remember is it was one of the happiest days of my life and all that I planned for didn’t contribute one bit to it!!!

Poetry

After ages comes an album with real poetry ... Do listen to Gulal's sound track
A few of my favourites

man kare so pran de jo man kare so pran le
wahi to ek sarva shaktiman hai

vishwa ki pukar hai ye
bhaagwat ka saar hai
ki yuddh hi to veer ka praman hai

kauravon ki bheed ho ya
pandavon ka need ho
jo lad saka hai wahi to mahaan hai

Another one

alim yeh kehta wahan ishwar hai,
Faazil yeh kehta wahan allah hai,
Kabur yeh kehta wahan issa hai,
Manzil yeh kehti tab insaan se ki,
Tumhari hai tum hi sambhalo yeh duniya,
Yeh ujde hue chand baasi charago,
Tumhare yeh kale iraado ki duniya,

Dreams turining into Reality...

DG,TG and me have morning discussions on how to avoid going to work with possible situations...
Marksheets collection,Caution Money collection- Category - Post MBA Rigmarole- Can be used once in 2 months
Stomach Ache, Dysentery,Fever - Category-Illness - Can be used often
Deposit Submission/ Collection, House Hunting -Can be used once in a year
Roommate locking you in the room - Category -Unimaginable- One can only dream of it and can never be used

But didn't I tell you KG is an angel in disguise .. ( What with her skills in magic and saree price estimation)

Yes our dream did come true!!!! :):) ...